Friday, December 23, 2011

Hockey's Naughty List

This guy is the new Bruins mascot

With Christmas only a day away, Santa is just finishing his list and checking it twice. While most NHLer's have been good (thank you Shanny), there are still some that have found their way onto the naughty list. Here are some that have just done that.

Every candidate has three subjects:

Reasons - Why they are naughty
Redeeming Qualities - What saves them
Naughty Ranking - On a scale from 1 to 10 how naughty they are (10 being the highest)

Ron Wilson

Reasons: Unfriendly to media (from blasting them to lying), statistically horrible coach.
Redeeming Qualities: This tweet.
Naughty Ranking: 6

Milan Lucic

Reasons: Running goalies, cheap shots that go unsuspended, playing for the Bruins.
Redeeming Qualities: Santa knows who he is.
Naughty List10 0 (stupid Colin Campbell tampered with the list)

Tim Thomas

Reasons: Not pumping his opponents tires, very naughty. Also, a Bruins player.
Redeeming Qualities: Won Stanley Cup and Conn Smythe. Pretty good for a journeyman goalie.
Naughty Ranking: 2

Matthew Barnaby

Reasons: A domestic dispute and a DUI, very very naughty. Also analyses hockey (recommended by ESPN)
Redeeming Qualities: None (although driving on three wheels is kind of impressive)
Naughty Ranking: 9

Mike Milbury

Reasons: Recent altercation at a kids game, being himself ("Mad Mike").
Redeeming Qualities: Is still somehow considered an ex-GM
Naughty Ranking: 9

Sidney Crosby

Reasons: Not coming back from his concussion soon enough, leaving the NHL to find someone else to promote. Guys who haven't watched hockey since 2007 still call him a diver.
Redeeming Qualities: Still the best hockey player in the world.
Naughty Ranking: -1

Jaromir Jagr

Reasons: Teasing Pittsburgh into thinking he would come back, then signs with in-state rival Philadelphia
Redeeming Qualities: Even at 39, he's still Jagr-ing it up.
Naughty Ranking: 4

Bell and Rogers

Reasons: Two telecommunications companies who are in direct competition with each other teaming up to by the Leafs? EXTREMELY NAUGHTY
Redeeming Qualities: None, it's Bell and Rogers
Naughty Ranking: 11

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